Hotel Williamsburg Suites (Williamsburg, USA)

The staff is cordial and efficient for the most part. Helpful front desk staff do what they can to make your stay as comfortable as possible.

Right next to the Cracker Barrel and five minutes to the popular sites of historic Williamsburg. Puts check marks in all the boxes for basic needs to be met, including an enjoyable pool (when it's open) and free, simple breakfast.

You'll have a bed, television with a few basic channels, possibly a couch or chair, air conditioning, a microwave and refrigerator, and a bathroom with sink and shower. Some of the aforementioned items will even be clean and in working condition - on a good day.

You may hear kids running around and shouting until the wee hours. Complaints to staff will likely be a waste of time. The parking lot appears to attract strange men who like to sleep in their cars. Rumors have circulated about the thriving drug dealing and prostitution elements of the area. Lock your cars and deadbolts and get inside before dark.

Don't be shocked if housekeeping missed your room - and the entire building. The bathrooms are often unsanitary with leftover remnants from previous guests, and you may find their garbage or dirty underwear lingering about. Coffee/tea provisions are there - but may be found with the used, moist grounds still in the coffee maker.

They usually don't work without some elaborate ritual being conducted first (lifting up on the doorknob while inserting the card seems to be a win) and then later on you'll find most need to be re-keyed a few times daily. You'll probably get locked out of your room more than once, too.